ber el walidine

Our parents are the people who provide the most care for us in this world. Unfortunately, most of us often fail to show them the respect they deserve.

There are many days set aside in societies to honor and appreciate parents; Father's Day and Mother's Day to name just two. Such days appear to be more an effort to make up for duties neglected.

In Monotheistic religions—when they are practiced—respecting, honoring and appreciating parents is not something that should be just one day a year, but rather on each and every day. In Islam, parents' rights are the most venerable rights after those of God. There are many verses in the Quran urging Muslims to treat their parents with utmost kindness, to be grateful for the care they have provided, to obey them, and to care for them when they grow old.

{Now (among the good deeds), We have enjoined on human is the best treatment towards his parents. His mother bore him in pain, and in pain did she give him birth. The bearing of him and suckling of him (until weaned) is thirty months, when he has finally reached his full manhood and reached forty years of age, he says: "My Lord! Arouse me that I may be thankful for all Your favors (life, health, sustenance, faith, and submission, and more) that You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do good, righteous deeds with which You will be pleased, and grant me righteous offspring (so that they treat me righteously, as I treat my parents). I have turned to You, and I am one of those who have submitted to You. Those are they from whom We will accept (their good deeds in a manner to reward them in accordance with) the best of what they ever did, and whose evil deeds We will overlook, (and include them) among the companions of Paradise. This is a true promise which they have been given (here in the world)}. (Quran, Al Ahqaf 46:15-16)

One point that should be emphasized here is that while both parents are given importance, the mother ranks before the father in Islam as far as their children are concerned. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "Paradise lies under the feet of the mother." However, fathers are never ignored: "The contentment of the father is the door to paradise."

The teachings of Jesus are not different. The Quran describes the miracle of baby Jesus speaking out to prove his blessed mother's chastity; when Jesus mentions God's blessings on him, he also emphasizes the importance of being good to one's parents: {And (God has made me) dutiful towards my mother, and He has not made me unruly, wicked.} (Quran, Maryam 19:32). Also, one of the Ten Commandments says: "Honor your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12, New International Version)

The word "honor" cannot only be defined as feeding parents, clothing them, and helping them get from A to B, because these are acts of charity usually reserved for homeless or poor people. "Honor" means to prize highly, show respect, glorify, or exalt.

From the very moment of conception, as the child grows and develops, it is the duty and responsibility of the parents. It is not possible to estimate the depth of attachment or compassion parents feel for their children nor to calculate the troubles or hardships they undergo as parents. For this reason, respecting the parent is not only a debt of human gratitude; it is also a religious obligation.

Those who can value their parents in the correct way and who regard them as a means for obtaining the mercy of God are the most prosperous in both worlds. In contrast, those who regard their parents' existence as a burden on themselves or who become wearied of them are unfortunate people who will inevitably suffer the severest hardships in life.

The more respectful you are to your parents, the greater respect and awe you will feel before your Creator. Those who do not feel or show respect to their parents have no fear, awe, or respect of God. However, it is a curious thing today that it is not only the ones who are disrespectful to God who fail to show respect to their parents, but also those who claim that they love God. As Martin Luther expressed: ‘we must respect and love God so that we will neither look down upon our parents or superiors, nor irritate them, but rather we will honor them, serve them, obey them, love them, and value them.’ (The Small Catechism, The Fourth Commandment)

The importance of respecting parents, however, extends beyond social welfare to the very welfare of society itself, as the family is the basic unit of society. Just as a body's health is dependent on the health of the cells, so the vigor of a nation, the body politic, is directly related to the health of the families that make it up. Families form the foundation of a society. Where there is reciprocal respect of rights and obligations within a family, the society will be healthy and strong. It is vain to look for compassion and respect in society once these have been lost.

www.onislam.net/